i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Randomize
