I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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