I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
