Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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