Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
