Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
