i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
