what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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