my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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