i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
