Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
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