Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
