i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
