I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
