physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
