He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
