im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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