I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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