well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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