come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
