Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
