forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
