and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
