i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
