One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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