How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think I am morally bankrupt
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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