I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
