The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
