"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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