I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
