it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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