the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
