I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
