Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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