I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
