We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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