I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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