When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize