don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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