I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
