We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
