We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We're too hungover to prance.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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