Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
