Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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