we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize