she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize