so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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