STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
