If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We got so high we made milksteak
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He better not be in your backpack
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
