Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
