Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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