In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
