I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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