I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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