I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
...so i touched it.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
