he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
