Swine flu is the new snow day.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My vagina is officially offended.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
