We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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