I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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