therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
