That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
