you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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