As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
