he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
