Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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