Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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