Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
