Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
pray to the hookup gods
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
