i was born a porn star she said
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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