It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
