Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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