She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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