I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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