from now on my penis is your penis
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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