i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
