i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
