my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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