I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
