walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
